I had totally forgotten I signed up for this thing and had committed to these posts until someone was kind enough to leave a comment… Oops! Happily enough, I just finished chatting with one of my trans friends about my last post – she said it was a little bit of a downer. Ouch. That was the idea, lady! It got me thinking though, my entire blog is pretty darn depressing. Yeah I know, that’s my whole bit, my life kinda sucks a lot of the time, but it’s definitely not all bad. So here we start with the A-Z blogging challenge – 26 days of posts. The theme? Happiness. What’s making me happy, not just despite being transgender, but because of it. I’m going to try and make it a daily story of my life for you to enjoy.
This afternoon I got a phone call from my dad. Now, my dad and I have a very good and very difficult relationship all at once – our personalities are too close and we fight. I also came out to him before my mom and feel a lot more comfortable as a whole talking to him. Now, my mom is amazing, and she is here all the time helping me, but there’s always going to be this little bit that my dad and I share that I can’t seem to find with her. I think this is just something that happens with parents and children when you get personalities in the mix.
Anyway, phone call. He asks me how work’s going (could be better), tells me about this new job he’s applying for, and discusses how my kid invited his kid (he has a daughter from a second marriage the same age as my oldest) to come visit us and what would be a good time to do that. I joked that we were basically unemployed so… Whenever.
He also asked me something that caught me off guard. “When do you go for your surgery.”
“Not long” I choked.
“Will it, you know, change you?” he replied with a surprising lack of embarrassment.
For fuck’s sake dad, text this to me!
I went on to (briefly, I’m bright red at this point) explain how I’m only getting my chest done with surgery. He told me it was OK, that it didn’t matter what I was doing, it’s all fine. That came across a little sheepish but so very sincere. I know my dad very well, and I know when he’s being genuine. I started tearing up.
From the start, my dad has been amazing about this whole thing. He’s been kind, honest, and above all else – accepting. I prefer to communicate via text though, so this was the first time I heard him say the words that it’s all OK. I had no idea how much I needed to hear that.
I know there are so many other people in my exact situation with dads calling them faggots or sinners or worse. As a parent, I cannot fathom this, but as an observer I know it all too well. I am so lucky that despite being dealt a horrible hand of cards, there’s always someone there to slip me an ace when I’m losing.
No matter how bad things get, or how hard they are, I know I can get through it because I have the love, and acceptance, I need to survive.