On Sunday the smiling faces of our sweet kids will proudly present their dad, my husband, handmade cards and adorable crafts. They will yell his name (“dad”) excitedly while waving the papers too close to read. They’ll fight over who’s gift is opened first, admired most, and completed best. They will express their love in words and actions for the man that, since the day they were born, has been their father. The man I designated that name to so many years ago. The first word of each of our children. The one and only “dad” in their lives.

On Sunday I will watch, with a forced smile and kind spirit, as my husband enjoys his day. He is by no means an absent father, but has earned his title through hard work and dedication. The children do not make these gifts out of obligation but adoration. I’m proud to give him this special moment where we recognise him for his role in this family. Every late night and early morning spent. Every meal cooked and dish washed. Every trip to the emergency room and late night runs to get medicine. Every dream and hobby sacrificed along the way to helping grow and love 5 beautiful babies.

I am not able to offer much this year, not compared to how I have in the past. We are broke and jobless. The printer has even run out of ink. I’m not entirely sure I can even cook something special to celebrate the man I’ve chosen to father my children. I even have work I need him to complete – even on Father’s Day business owners never rest. It will likely be a fair bit similar to every other day – filled with work and chores and obligations and – love. Lots of love. 

This well never be my day, and I lament that fact through envious eyes and a broken heart, but also from a place of acceptance. Everyone deserves to be appreciated, everyone deserves a special dedication to the thankless job that is parenting young kids. Father’s Day is a made up thing by Hallmark to sell cards – celebrating my husband is a choice I make on this day that conveniently coincides with school sending gifts home with the kids. Today I put my feelings of being dad who will never be dad aside and say – thank you.

Thank you to my husband for being present. For working hard. For doing the fun things and the difficult things. For choosing to be present. And above all – for your love

Still glad I chose you as the father of my kids,

Your husband.