Normally I try and publish these on Tuesdays but this week has been absolutely insanely busy, plus yesterday I was sick. I’m still sick, but hey, life goes on when you have 5 kids and responsibilities. Plus being down in my office writing is a lot easier than being upstairs with my incredibly demanding toddlers – even if I’m cursing my son for messing up my keyboard from playing Minecraft too aggressively.

I have news for you. BIG news. TOP SURGERY IS BOOKED!!!!!

It was supposed to take up to 6 weeks to get approval from Manitoba Health but we got it back really fast. A couple days after I got the confirmation letter I received a phone call from my surgeon’s office with a date. Now this is the best part. It’s booked for October 25th. That’s less than 4 weeks away for anyone counting.

I’m really struggling to put into words how I feel about this. Excited. Anxious. Positive. I thought I would have more mixed feelings after things became “real” but I’m really not worried at all – there’s almost a calmness. It’s a lot like when I started HRT. I even had a dream the other night that after the surgery I was really happy with the results. Dreams tend to tell us a lot about our own inner thoughts, worries, and fears so I’m taking this as a good sign.

Of course, I’ve prepared myself with the bad. I’m expecting there to be a period of shock and feeling as if something’s missing. It’s not unfamiliar to me, though. My first baby was delivered via emergency c-section and general anaesthetic – so I know too well the feeling of waking up to your body being different.

Surgery is always difficult and general anasthetic is always scary but there is something to be said about going in for happy reasons. There are so many things I’m looking forward to once this surgery is done like never having to bind again, no longer having to wear bras, no longer feeling emasculated by my breasts, having my clothing fit better, and being more comfortable with my body. Much like my surgical scars and stretch marks from having children don’t really bother me I’m confident the scars I’m left with will pale in comparison to the pain of having breasts.

Recovery is about 6 weeks and during that time I’m not able to lift anything. This is going to prove very challenging with the little ones. For once I’m grateful my husband remains unemployed.  The next step after surgery is to get all my legal documents changed over. 

Make sure you follow along so you don’t miss my before and after photos!

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